A strange sense of euphoria

At 04:05 am I have been up and awake for almost 24 hours but why does it feel so good?.
Is it because my eyes a straining yet feel so natural to be open this long.
Am I seeing or hearing things differently
or possibly because the weather is so humid that I can't bring myself to go to sleep.


I feel like reading.

The point where the summer goes wrong....

I'm at the stage in the summer where the novelty of time off has faded and seem to be on your own alot, leaving you to ponder on the subject of Me Myself & I.

I so so badly want to say sorry to so many people for being such total bitch, it's taken me awhile to realise that damn I've been heading downhill for a few months now but what can I do? What can I to change peoples opinion of me for the better? Or give me a chance to show them I am sorry....? I feel now nothing when almost all my aquaintances have been made by word (of at the time bitter) mouths, and pride and in defense of your friends stand guard and cold towards these strangers. Wry of past offences they have made to ones mighty morals or traits that leave you bewildered...and holding your tounge....

Annoying I've missed out on good friends and nice people simply from being scared to accept them & scared to shoulder their burdens simply because 'you know you wouldn't get into that mess'....
And to those who told me I was fine and a good person. Well your liers :] obviously.

Peace